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Kill Story Shakespeare
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ThePunisher is back to amuse fellow Supra owners with anecdotes from the street and to warn others that they may become central characters in future kill stories. On a recent night, the dawg was begging to be taken out for a street test and tune session to stretch its legs. So off to the industrial area bordering one of the local ghettos that serves double duty as a public track. As ThePunisher is making a U-turn to run another lap, out of nowhere appears a 90s Mustang which begins to pace the Supra. Now ordinarily I would glance over to such a competitor and give him a look like I can't be bothered because the gas in my tank is worth more than his heap. But the sticky tires and supercharger whine hinted that he may be able to stay within a few Hummer lengths.

He paces me at about 40 and I lay back about one length to get a look-over on the car. I see many gauges glowing through the faded tint including a tach larger than Flava Flav's clock. But before I can get some specs on the tires, the sneaky driver jumps on it with the existing one length advantage. Of course ThePunisher instinctually follows suit. As the turbos get up to full speed I catch him by 80 with the sound of my screaming turbos resonating off of his misaligned OEM Ford panels. I put almost 2 lengths on him by 120 and tap my brakes to mercifully indicate that the contest is over and there is no need for him to furiously try to fall further behind. I let the engine braking slowly decelerate the Supra and get my game face ready for the post race commentary. This is where the real fun always begins!

I roll up and compliment the driver on his POS, after all he did not lose by double digit lengths. The Mustang driver asks "what kind of car is that?" I'm thinking to myself he must be either kidding or without electricity because I'm sure he must have by accident, at the very least, stumbled upon some Supra video raping Mustangs at modularheadgaskets.com, svtbankruptcy.com, or whatever the popular Mustang sites are. Nevertheless, being that I am always willing to educate the masses, I inform him that it is a Supra (Latin for superior). The driver tells me that he has a 9lb blower, heads, cam, water/air cooler, meth injection, etc. I pretend to be interested at that comment and setup and thank him for his time and wish him the best of luck, as I raise my window.
 

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Kill Story Shakespeare
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101 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well look what we have here.
logan_yomtov = Mustang owner
MUSTANG WOLVERINE = Mustang owner
MarcSMT = Mustang owner
Awwwww, did I hurt your feelings.

swank, if you enjoyed this narrative, please check out some of ThePunisher’s archived kill stories. They’re full of even more stereotypes, elitist overtones, and racist undertones. And always all true.
 

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hahaha fuck them, i loved that shit, great story. :rofl:
 

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yes i have a mustang. Do i love all mustangs? no. Do i care if a mustang lost in a good race? no.
All i'm saying is your story sucked. It wasn't entertaining, and i wish i never read it.
ok?
don't take it personal.
 

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Never narc'd on nobody
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3,246 Posts
That was funny :lol: Particularily this:

As the turbos get up to full speed I catch him by 80 with the sound of my screaming turbos resonating off of his misaligned OEM Ford panels
ahahahaha




I think he's just joking Mustang guys.....no reason to get overly butthurt.
 

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Ex MKIV Owner
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329 Posts
Northof49 said:
That was funny :lol: Particularily this:

ahahahaha




I think he's just joking Mustang guys.....no reason to get overly butthurt.
Yea taht was my favorite part too lol :bigthumb:

Nice story!
 

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yeah, i mean he specifically said that this story was to "amuse fellow Supra owners with anecdotes from the street..." So Mustang owners, you had to have known that it was going to be this kind of story. take it with a grain of salt, and see it for its entertainment value. you know if the roles were reversed and this showed up in a Mustang forum, all the sudden the story wouldn't "suck" so much, and for sure you'd find it entertaining.

haha nice kill...and right in time too. i needed to hear something like this, b/c last night a late 90's GT tried to pass me before two lanes merged into one (i went about 1/2 throttle as he went flying by and pulled past him shortly after). we stop at a red light ahead, where he gets next to me and tells me he wasn't even trying (maybe he thought i was trying :dunno: ) and proceeds to bet me $100 to run...as if i didn't just show him how hard he'd go down as we closed in on the merge. needless to say i didn't have $100 on me, so we didn't race. and so i thank ThePunisher for posting a funny Mustang kill that made me laugh my head off. it makes me feel a little bit better about my race that should have been...
 

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Great story, way better than most attempts.
 

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That's it, after this story I am going out and putting a deposit on a new Shelby GT500 convertible. I think 50k for a heavy boat that runs 13's is well worth it.
 

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Kill Story Shakespeare
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101 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Eagleye be fair. Yes, Mustang owners are clearly not at the top of the IQ food chain. logan_yomtov was nice enough to confirm this for us with such eloquent responses as "dude, that’s gay" and "it sucked". But fortunately for them, Ford understands this and caters to their caveman needs by providing them with loud, primitive, heavy Fred Flintstone boxes with many OEM rattles, squeaks, ticks, and howls. Large ribs not included.
 

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ok, ur right. I just hope i never run into The Punisher. The Punisher can never lose.
 
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