pull off the panel on the passenger side under the glove box and look down there. There is a block with a bunch of relays on it. Its the one closest to the firewall on the bottom. The relay also says "Starter Relay" on it so its not too hard to find.
ground the negitive lead, and put the positive lead on your blue/black wire going to the solenoid with the brown clip on it. when you turn the key, if there's voltage there, then its pretty much the starter causing the problem. if there's no voltage... i don't kno wmuch 'bout automatics.